I'm back?

Well, yes, physically I am here, home, in CA...but I feel like I am in 2 different places, on so many levels.

Over the next week I will post all about our wonderful adventures & lots of pix....

We arrived home Friday night.

But the last few days I've just felt 'off' & it's more than just jet lag. I feel surprisingly disconnected from home. I know it's normal, I'm sure.

But it's still weird.

How can you be gone from a place you've lived your WHOLE life, for only 2 weeks, & wish to be THERE instead of here? kwim? What is that about?

And another weird thing, why did I keep feeling, as I was preparing for this trip, that I was going HOME?

sigh.....God has one silly sense of humor or something.....

This is it...

We're off....to our great adventure, or MY great adventure.

I'll be in Ethiopia Tuesday, it will be about 11:30 pm our time on Monday when we arrive, but 7:30 am Tuesday, @ least I think they are 9 hours ahead .

It'll be a whirlwind of waiting today, you know airports...

Keep us in your prayers.

Packing up.

Everything has pretty much been in a pile in my living room. I need to get a flashlight still. Gather up my clothes. It seems I need to take more than what I initially thought. I don't know what to think.

I've got wipes, I've got medications (which make me feel really sick!), I've got %100 DEET bug repellent, sunblock, glasses, trail mix, various OTC meds, baggies, boots, socks, beef jerky, peanut butter, journal, passport. blahblahblah....

Now what? waiting, waiting, waiting. I wrote notes to my littles....still want to write one to older & DH. What to say? When I wrote the cards last night, I felt like I was writing my last words. I know it's not true, it only felt that way.

I've been told this is only the 'first' chapter of my 'story'. Interesting that it was the 1st chapter & not just a new one.

Ok, I need to stop procrastinating & get to it.

We leave tomorrow.
There is nothing more I can do to be prepared & I still feell so UNprepared.

I guess it's all of the 'unknown'.

Got my boots on...

Only a few more days.

I put my boots on today, to try & break them in. I can already tell where there may be a sore spot or potential blister.

Really though, I can't help but be reminded of the last time I needed to get boots....I was 14 yo. I was going on a mission w/ an organization called Teen Missions. Boots were a major requirement. I knew I was supposed to go but for some reason I didn't know how to articulate it to my mom when it was realized & suggested I transfer to a different team that cost less. I didn't have all the necessary financial support for this particular team.

Thinking back now, I don't know how the rest of the money came about. Maybe my parents paid for it themselves. They never mentioned it.

But the boots....they weren't attractive, but they would do the job. They had a height requirement & they actually would measure them to make sure the sides fit the description & if not---bye bye! They were practically embarrassing to wear!

They started out so nice & clean & bright, that yellowish boot color. ya know? By the end, they were dirty, worn in & comfortable. AND very muddy. lol 'Boot camp' (really, that's what they called it) was in Florida, very tropical. It would suddenly begin to rain & there was no warning except you could hear it coming. It took a few seconds for it to arrive right on you but you could hear it hitting down on the leaves of the trees. It was hot & humid but the rain would be refreshing and heavy. It was no CA drizzle. It was pouring, soaking wet rain.

Then it would stop as suddenly as it started. All the while the sun was shining. Definitely NOT Ca! lol

Those boots walked me through the swampy mud of that boot camp in Florida, the airport of NY and the grey streets of England. On the way back my boots took me through NY, where I stayed w/ my grandfather I barely knew, (& had only met a handful of times) for a few days & met the 'Puerto Rican' side of my family. They took me through the dirty NY subway w/ the cold hard, plastic seats, which were quite a contrast to the cushioned, fabric seats of the English tubes & trains.

I had no use for those boots once I got home. They sat in my closet. Eventually they were loaned out, never to be seen again. I regret that. I haven't forgotten what they look like though. Or maybe I have? But I certainly haven't forgotten their significance.

In the end, the boots no longer seemed embarrassingly garish & awkward. They felt as if I had always had them & always worn them. A part of me now. As if, you'd think, doesn't everybody wear big boots?

Will we see this?

Article on Hunger Crisis in Ethiopia

It's possible we will be facing needs like this in Ethiopia. sigh. A few weeks ago, or was it last week? I was getting prayed over & those that were praying over me, prayed for me to be filled w/ the Holy Spirit (which I was) & also spoke prophetically over me.

One person said they saw me doing things I'd never done before {in Ethiopia} (besides the fact of actually going to Africa!). They told me to remember what they were saying---that they saw another woman's face, right in my face, & encouraged me if I locked eyes w/ someone to grab an interpreter & speak to the woman & begin praying...they said it would happen once my heart became broken.

My heart would be broken & then I would be filled w/ the Holy Spirit...& in that moment, for me to step out....in faith & see what God would/was going to do!

My heart nearly breaks to see the photos associated w/ the above linked article. I can't imagine what it would be like in person.

For the person I am, who craves to have as much information up front as possible, and yet is very 'adaptable'...I wish I knew more what to expect. Expect the unexpected, right? lol

I am not afraid, but excited, like I (& the team) are on the 'verge'...that feeling you get when you are on the peak of a roller coaster & you know it's about to go down but there's that split second of hesitation before the ride takes off. It's that feeling.

I had a similar feeling before everything started w/ my mom--& then she died, but it wasn't so 'exciting' in a positive way. Am I in denial?

Other's are reporting some major spiritual warfare...but I'm feeling pretty good. hhhmmm...I have had thoughts of imprisonment or injury, but I push those away quickly as 'discouragements'. I don't dwell on them & they are quickly forgotten. They have only been brought to mind recently when someone else mentioned experiencing something similar.

Then others are speaking much encouragement for me on this trip. Someone who did not know me did say something interesting about going through some trouble, but that God would be w/ me. No one else that day said anything near that. And he said it as if it was going to be happen, not had already happened. BUT in the end....it's true, God IS w/ me & will never leave me. Of that I am sure of.

I do believe that my life is not my own, anyway......

I'm not scared

Maybe I should be? I don't know.

Maybe it is this new place I am in in my life today. My life is not my own. I do not even own it. I do not have a right to do w/ it as *I* will, it belongs to God. So what is there to fear?

Plus the fact that so many times (even recently) I have been in, what can only be described as such nightmarish situations, that I survived. God saved me. I have not perished physically & have yet to perish spiritually. I have not starved, I have not been homeless...nor as I wrote in an earlier post, have any of my utilities been shut off. And heaven is NOT OAC, so I'm good in that aspect too. lol

I am not afraid of going to Ethiopia. I do operate under the idea of respectful caution. I will be an 'American' in a foreign country...I am fully aware that my rights are only good in my own country.

I know that there is no way I do this or move forward upon my own strength.

I am fully aware I am @ the mercy of my Heavenly Father.

I do not expect it to be easy, but I am not afraid of it either.

I don't know exactly what will happen in Ethiopia, but I am very excited. I have been given many encouraging words about it.

I also realized for the first time, today, that this trip is not just about God stretching me, but my family & my husband as well....maybe.

This time next week....I will be in the AIR! SQUEEEEE!!!!

Got my Passport!

Yay! it's So pretty. No really. And very patriotic. It's very colorful, each page has a patriotic scene in American history. Also, in the back cover, there is an embedded microchip. There is a barcode & in certain customs area, if you see this certain symbol, you can move quicker? Because they can just scan the bar code & it contains all the same personal identifying information.

I am scheduled for the rest of my shots (3 @ least) for next Tuesday.

Today I also went in for a long overdue eye appointment. Ordered 2 pair & they should arrive in time for me to actually enjoy SEEING Ethiopia! :-)

It's all coming together.....I wish my mom were here to experience this w/ me. I know she would be telling all her friends/co-workers & be so excited. I just know it!

Calling the Shots!

Yikesabee! The travel department of my health insurance finally called me back (blahblahblah). The girl on the phone said I needed 9 shots! what? My 'teammates' all told me it was 4 or 5.

I got to my appointment & my 'orders' were not there. The nurse made a phone call & then got orders for only 4 shots....ok? It wasn't so bad. I had my 2 not-so-littles w/ me & aren't they witty? Birdy kept telling me to just take deeeeeep breathes (like I always tell them), then S says: all you need to do is wash your face & take a drink of water & you'll be fine. Again, what I tell them for everything! lolololololol

I questioned the order for only 4 shots & the nurse assured me that was what she was told...w/ the disclaimer that if it was incorrect, she would call me & that 4 was enough for one day anyway. Sure enough, by the time I got home later, there was a message waiting for me to call the travel department again. sigh. I think I need 3 more diff ones.

The Team